I was out and about last night having fun at a lounge where a lot of Industry people in my area hang out on Mondays. It was a typical blast from the past hip hop medley being played and i was jammin and in the zone as usual then i received a couple of texts from a potential friend who i figured after the first date should just remain platonic friends and we exchanged a few texts about how her day went and blah blah blah but after a few texts i got the response that i was a TORTURED SOUL and that i need to let go so i can be happy and focus back on life and i had a moment with myself while i was still reciting the hip hop lyrics playing at the lounge and i tried to digest the word and all i could come up with was that thats how i am 24/7.
My Friend said i am the way i am because i am hurt and that she had been to hell and back and that what saved her was good friends and family that brought her back from purgatory and i tried to reflect back on my life whether this applied to me and the same answer came rushing back that this is just how i am period.
I am not a good believer or advocate of Bullshit. I am not impressed by fast and smooth talkers, Not impressed by material wealth, I love a great mind though and am not really a big fan or Organized Religion, Capitalism, Celebrities and the likes but thats just the way i am. I am more connected with the masses or the unfortunate around the world and wish more people will be more sympathetic towards such people and circumstances but most people i come in contact with do not like to talk about such issues with hopes that it will die or go away.
I went to lunch today with an associate and during lunch we had some discussions or maybe Man to man gossip and at the end of the lunch he said i complain about everything and that i dont like much do i? Mind you he is also a minister of the Lord so we agree to disagree on several issues and i noticed during the conversation he paused for the most part and just let me rant which i have no problem doing if i have an audience.
I do feel alone atimes because so very few people can relate as deep as i can or understand me but i dont let it bother me. I have a lot of average friends who are just about living life and creating wealth and oppressing the same people who oppressed them going up continue the same vicious cycle but i dont have any scores to settle with anyone.
I had to call out a friend today about somebody he recently met today about just believing people based on a night out and a couple of drinks and i noticed he became defensive but i hate when people just believe anything without using a little commonsense but such is life. I am not a name dropper , I dont do titles , i love being incognito and dont like being the Headliner because of the drama that comes with it.
Even though i am not a Religious person sometimes i feel like John the Baptist who back in the days was perceived as a bipolar schizophrenic wild locust and honey eating hobo preaching about the coming of Christ. I have come to realize that its just my calling that i feel for the less fortunate and dislike greedy people no matter what race or creed they are even including friends and family who share those ideals. I cant be a hypocrite when it comes to a lot of issues and i believe a lot of people think i am strange for being that way. I know a few people who believe we are peas in the pod but deep down i know we are not even remotely close but if it makes them feel more important then so be it cos i refuse to have a debate about morals and issues.
Tortured Soul i doubt i am but even if i am i have learned to be at peace with myself. My friend also mentioned that the only time i sound excited and enthused is when i am dancing or when i am talking about traveling and thats probably true because i live for those two things and the third thing which requires another individual so i guess i will stick with the two things i love to do the most.
Does everyone have to be happy go lucky and optimistic about every silly thing out there? I dont think so but if it works for you then carry on but is it a crime to see the glass half empty either? I dont think so.
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About Me
- Fashogi
- Conscious snob. Sociable but prefer to be left alone a lot of times. Loves the underdogs. Hates injustice. Serious mind trapped in a laymans body.
3 comments:
Well this is a different bloggin side of TJ, I've never seen before, but I don't know you to say 'I know you' if you catch my drift.
Other people always have something to say about the content of your character. Call me cocky but i some times/most times feel I can because I know the content of mine and don't try and act like I'm a perfect specimen. I'm guessing when folks have their 30 seconds of telling you about yourself it's taking the focus 'off their forehead' as I like to say. It's like why worry about TJ and how he is, how are you? Unless it's relevant I don't see how it went from day to day to "you're a tortured soul" As a woman sounds like that was orchastrated, probably wanted to tell you that for a while but to come right out and say it would seem rude so was like hey how are you? Oh and by the way your soul...slightly tortured. Ummmm OK luv.
You are who you are, and from my blog post last night, people need to not be so bothered by you as a person, if it's a problem for them, then step, because chances are you aren't going to change. I'm not looking to change anyone but myself, so as my 'friend' isn't changing and I don't like her 'ways' then let me leave her to her and me to me.
Why are people so bothered about your zest for certain things in life and what you get excited by? Sounds like a lil something may be lacking in their own to be honest and as for the comment where someone said you are like two peas in a pod my inner voice said "Oh really" I've had a friend say that before and I thought sweetheart not even close, but you carry on believing what you want to believe.
If you like you then that's cool. Everybody else and their 2 cents can go jump. I can't stand people trying to tell me about myself especially when they get it soooo totally wrong.
I knew you would relate to this. Yeah folks are quick to say they know you after meeting you twice and become frustrated that things are not going their way so they tell you about your self lol.
It was funny cos i was dancing and texting my reply cos i dont really have any worries. I have weighed my pros and cons and graded myself in this LIFE and gave myself an A so no negative jabs are about to make my jaw drop.
I can be quick to say i am a good judge of character but will never come out open and say "I KNOW YOU" cos thats a bit too much. Same thing with Astrology and i know it can be pretty dead on sometimes but i cant totally use it to define someone cos those are general characteristics and not individual ones and people should take many of those things with a grain on salt and just interact with one another and will learn more about the other individual or just keep it old school and ask questions.
Cul blog, keep it up!
Check out mine:
'blackspace and milan'
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