Upgrading your Partner

One thing i have noticed nowadays that is becoming more rampant and popular nowadays that i have noticed is young couples not staying together long enough and hence upgrading their current relationship and marrying someone younger, more educated and probably more adventurous while dumping their wives of 10+ years and starting a new life. I dont have a tag name for it yet but i am using the term upgrading for now.



I have a friend whose 21 year old brother proposed to his 19 year old girlfrend a couple of months ago and when she told me i became very furious and asked her what she was gonna do about it and she said nothing then i asked what her parents were gonna do about it and she said they couldnt do much even though they were against the idea and all i could do was shake my head and feel bad for them. I am sick and tired of looking at Families who are afraid to interfere or step in their offsprings lives out of fear the kid will say something or leave home. I refuse to dumbdown so my kids can get away with something like that.



I have seen too many young couples marry in their early 20's and start a family and by their 10 year anniversary they are ready to call it quits and start a newer family while breaking the core of their existing families . I seriously believe nowadays that most people should at least wait till they are at least 30 before they get married but some will laugh at the suggestion and get married and before you know it are planning a divorce a couple of years down the road.
Marriage is more complicated nowadays thanks to the media and what it sells as instant gratuity which makes it hard for people to commit into a long term relationship. Growing up Divorce was like a taboo and looked down upon so Couples put in an extra effort not to fall into that category but in this new day and age its not unusual for a couple of 30yrs to decide to call it quits simply because they think they can do better.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but now is the time for people to date people not so close in age to avoid competition and to also provide more security in the relationship and yes this is where maturity comes into place because when you are dating someone a lot younger you are sacrifing the fact that she might not be as intelligent, experienced and mature and it goes vice versa for the woman because the man might not be an adonis, might not be as fulfilling in bed and might not be so open minded to do lots of fun stuff that younger folks do but it will at least provide a security blanket and a respect mechanism in the house and then you can grow in the relationship.

For lots of couples that marry young and grow a family together and are now in their late 30s and kids are off to college its become practically impossible for them to remain together nowadays. I have heard way too many couples say that as soon as the kids are off to college i am out which is sad but i blame it on the closeness in age and society. We all know that women mature faster than men so when she marries a guy closer to her in age she is practically dumbing down quite a lot to make the relationship work and a lot of times is creating a negative environment at home where she is resented for being right or sometimes for even helping out. A Decade of this power tussle and external factors eventually break up many of these unions and we notice that the man now wants to date someone 10 plus years younger who looks up to him and the woman might want to find her younger adonis type individual she has craved for years.

All in all the marriage institution needs to be re examined because Marriage is not necessarily for everyone and even though it works most of the time it takes a lot of sacrifice and manipulation which society doesnt have patience for nowadays so folks need to really know what they want out of a relationship before jumping into it for selfish reasons like my Soror sister had a beautiful wedding and so do i or all my mates are getting married so i must find a sucker to settle down with or other trivial reasons for tying the knot.

Daddy's who play with little girls

I am sick and tired of this never ending cycle of societal dysfunction in our communities. It is killing us and creating monsters everywhere i go. This is personal and i wish something can be done about it. I can honestly say majority of the women i have dated have at one time been abused and molested by a family member and/or friend and its one of the most painful experiences a girl/woman can ever go through and for the most part pretty much determines a lot of decisons they are going to make in life and mainly negative.

This disease is one of the most suppressed ills of all times and is committed all over the world and knows no boundaries whether rich or poor , pretty or ugly , old or young. the list goes on. Abuse of any kind is very hard to overcome but molestation and incest is the Mother of all these illnesses and i have personally seen one too many beautiful ladies turn into monsters due to this.
Thanks to these sick and selfish people we have more strip clubs and bars than schools in some communities. I remember befriending a Guy who ran a few strip clubs in Dallas simply because he was trying to buy a house from me and we got to talking and i probed him about what his job really entailed and he pretty much said his job was to babysit the dancers and also to get rid of the rowdy guests without incident because the more police reports could mean shutting down the establishment.

The sad thing about this situation is that this guy is a former boxer and has been hit in the head one too many times and i know his IQ is probably in the low 50s but he is responsible for a lot of these people who work for him. He claimed that many of the girls who come to work have a history of molestation by relatives and due to this have a history of low self esteem and also need money to survive so his job is basically be that father figure and they will do anything for you which just sounds like legalizing being a pimp.

I have always had my gripe with the Western World because there is something about the Western world and loneliness where it teaches you to be lonely and not family and friends around while you are consumed with work and paying bills and you easily lose yourself. You marry and have kids and live in a big house and dont make friends with your neighbors and your family dont come to visit because you moved out of the neighborhood and now they think you are too uppity and you bury yourself in work and take out your frustration on your family since they are the only sitting targets who cannot leave you. You are depressed and you notice your teenage daughter growing into that woman you fell in love with 20 years ago and due to idleness and other fucked up thoughts you mistake her adoration of you by sitting in your lap and innocent flirting with you as inviting you and before you know it you have fucked her up for the next guy she has to date.

Now we have to deal with someone who has now switched off her emotions when it comes to sex and now thinks its a dirty act and that you are no different from Dad, Uncle XYZ or Cousin IT and are only after one thing. Now you have to deal with sleepless nights of bad nightmares and dreams that cannot be resolved. Now you are blamed for everything that is wrong with her and have the slightest idea. You are totally against seeking professional help because historically its not done in your community so you live with this disease killing her and just pray that it will go away even though you dont even know what the problem is in the first place but still pray.

The cycle is passed down and she becomes a mother and loves her daughter yet resents her for the same reason that she thinks the same might happen in her family. She resents you for a crime you have not committed yet . She becomes envious of her daughter as soon as she starts to blossom into a young woman causing the daughter to be motivated to seek shelter and love elsewhere even if it means leaving home in her teenage years because of so much hostility in the household.

If only you could control your sick thoughts and lay your hands off her maybe she will be ok, maybe she would have turned out to be a loving mother, Maybe your community wouldnt be as bad as it is right now. Maybe love will be in the air and maybe many could have lived happily ever after but NO you had to show the world the animal that you are.

Modern Technology i can do without

Nowadays latest technology comes in all forms and shapes but not all of these forms of technology are really beneficial to us but we still tend to choose them. I am going to try to list a bunch of latest technology and trends that i can do without.


Here it goes,



Blue tooth Headsets.... I never liked this gadget maybe because it looks too futuristic or the fact that it makes people look like they are lunatics until you spot the headset. It makes busy people like like idiots and laymen look like they have something important to do or say. They come in various shapes and sizes and some look like something out of a Star trek and some should look plain stupid. I know some states have hands free laws and it comes in handy but i still refuse to put on one.



Roomba...... Now whoever came up with this toy and managed to package it as a househould appliance is a genius. The Roomba looks like a toy hovercraftand ppl fork out over 300 bucks to watch some device glide all over your carpet while its supposed to be picking up dirt. I have never owned one but i do know that i will not be purchasing any of this foolery.



Paper Shredders.... I never liked this appliance because for some paranoid reason i always believe that i will end up shredding some important documents that i will later regret. For now i will rather just place papers in the bin and people can sort through my trash in the meantime.



EReaders..... A lot of retailers have been advertising their various of forms of Ebooks and encouraging people to download books onto their various readers. I buy books because i like collecting them and love the covers and do not want my books to be buried inside some LCD screen that can retail for as high $400.

Fancy Coffeemakers and Expresso Makers... Yes they look like a nice accessory in the kitchen but i dont drink coffee unless i feel like splurging at starbucks everynow and then so i dont need a hot brewed coffee programmed for me to drink every morning.

Iphone... Why do i want my MP3 player merged into my phone? How about the battery power i need for my phone to stay alive and trading it for music. This is part of the problem with the world we live in now with too many people listening to music way too much and becoming tone death and also lost in the silly lyrics that were probably created after a lot of drug experimenting in the wee hours of the morning. I have said before that we dont need that much music in our lives besides i dont like smudge on my phone and you get a lot of that with the iphone besides its the coolest gadget for nerds as a conversation starter and i dont need any of those.

Flying Alarm Clock... I wish my alarm clock will try and take off just as i am about to turn it off.

WII FIT..... How about just plain ole REAL FIT in the real world.

SLR..... I get sick and tired of these grown ass folks out and about looking like professional photographers with $2000 equipments in casual places just because. I have the closest thing to a SLR but can fit in my back pocket. I like taking cool pictures but it aint that serious. I will rather party harder than have some big ole entrapment around my neck besides you can never look cool with that beast around your neck unless you are trying to nab innocent dumb chicks by posint as a professional Photographer so they can take their clothes off for you in a heartbeat.

The list goes on and on but thats all i can think of now. Feel free to add yours to the list.

An Ode to Black Hair

After seeing so much weave and ugly pieces of synthetic on many of my poor sistahs hair i just reminisce a lot about the good ole days and i am talking about the 90's and to be exact 1992 was the year when the revolution of the black hair began. I love sistahs who are bold enough to wear that short hair with pride and i get to see their bone structures, high cheek bones, rosey cheeks, Long necks or layered necks and unfortunately a few scars from that curling iron on the back of their neck but who cares cos it will heal in a few weeks (Thanks to that Melanin) . I don't know who was first in the short hair Revolution but its a toss between Haile Berry and Toni Braxton and soon after yeah the term chicken heads with sex appeal came up but i don't see them as chicken heads i see them as Beautiful Bold and Brave Sistah and only the poor negroes who have been brainwashed that beautiful has something to do with the length of a females hair. I wish that time will come back when women had more pride in their short kinky or nappy hair or even permed short hair (At least it was natural). Now we live in a fiasco where most sistahs i see out nowadays look like hookers from the 80's with bad taste. There is nothing worse than having a lady over and you want to recreate a romantic evening with her on the couch and you are sipping wine together and acting all sophisticated and talking about World Politics and just like they do in the movies you reach out to her and slowly run your hand thru her hair and ALAS!!!!!!!!!! she got CORNROWS!!! underneath her long jet black Indian hair that touches her behind and all of a sudden the mood changes and you are like damn you could have told me that earlier that that was just a weave on. Nowadays thanks to all the numerous weaves out there we have more cases of pets choking on hair in the emergency vet hospital or more plumber visits because the synthetic hair has clogged up our bathrooms and toilets and our vaccums only last a few months before we replace them because the numerous fake hair in them.
I know there are some men who have identity crisis and issues with their sexuality that makes it impossible for them to date women with shorter hair because it reminds them of that inner urge that they are trying to suppress about really being with boys/men but for a real man short hair is a thing of pride because it takes a lot of emphasis away from hair which really is a form of dead skin and accentuates the other parts of the pretty human face. Besides if a woman is ugly with no hair then guess what she is still gonna be ugly with long hair. the only difference is the Korean Store owner who she made richer.
I know its the beyonce era of fake everything but i know deep down there are some deep sistahs out there who are yearning for the revolution of the SHORT BLACK HAIR.

Peace.

Only in America do Gangstas Dance and Sing

I have been in this Country for some time now and can officially say i am hiphop and love the hiphop culture way before the Gangsta Rap influence which has set Hiphop back a couple of Decades with its glorifying of sex and violence but the biggest mystery of the so called gangsta rap and their following is the fact that the Record Industry can make Gangstas out of singers and dancers. I mean it seems like the biggest Allibi if one can be a real gangsta by day and blend into a musical group at nite in order to disguise himself but this does not seem to be the case here in the U.S. Maybe it's because i have travelled around the World quite a bit but i must say that Only in America will one find a singer/crooner/dancer/rapper that entertains thousands of people for a living and still want to be known or down as a Gangsta. I mean how can you be a gangsta with make up on before your show or video shoot . I know its easy to look tough by wearing oversized Baggy pants and brandishing a pistol and have tattoos all over your anatomy but i hate to say it that majority of these fools are over grown clowns and Black and White Minstrels. We all watch Sopranos from time to time and this is a representation of the typical Sicilian Mafia family and the only time i see the likes of Tony Soprano sing or even dance is when they are at a family event not at the Madison Garden thowing up signs.

I have lived in Nigeria and have lived in Neighborhoods that have gangsters and the approach is totally different. These individuals can and have killed with their bare hands and fists and these individuals do not wear designer clothes and dont even laugh a lot. You can get a beat down of your life for just staring too hard at a gangster. I have a distant relative who is an O.G in Nigeria who makes a livng just of up and coming gangsters in the neighborhood who will rob, sell drugs and any other illegal activity and after they will come to him and break bread and give him proceeds ranging from 10% to 20% of the loot and he gets to pick what he wants. These people are ruthless individuals who will kill a best friend in the blink of an eye if he/she crosses them. These folks dont use moisturizers or deodorants or even Colognes cos they lose street cred. Its still a mystery to me that this so called gangsta rap chirade continues in the U.S and the youth still believe it. I would love to hand pick a few of these gangsta rappers and take them on a pilgrimmage to the Mother land and let them spend 6 hours in a Third World Jail/Cell and see if they can survive the circumstances that they are faced upon. I wonder whether Gangsta Rap wil ever GO AWAY.

Oldies but Goodies

I did this blog a couple of years ago and still find it amusing so i am reposting it.

Black People!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am just venting again(Typical Angry Black Man) but i am sick and tired and sick and tired of running into sistas who are wannabe Industry HO's(Yeah i said it).
What has become of us in this day and age where Reality TV is now considered a Career next to being a Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher and Engineer. I have noticed in the last five years that nearly every black woman out there that i have met is an aspiring model(Some are in there mid 40's),Promoter, Aspiring Singer, Marketing Exec or an Aspiring Reality Ho.
We live in a day and age where most black women out there from the ages of 18-39 if interviewed would tell you that they want to either meet or be like Beyonce Knowles(Air Head), Kellis(Confused)Tyra Banks(Professional Ho) Supahead(I rest my case) or Oprah(I love white ppl and Nelson Mandela). What happened to Maya Angelou, Lani Guinier,India Arie, Alfre Woodard, Cathy Hughes and a host of other Great Black Women? Even though i know it doesnt get any better for us black men idolizing knuckle heads who put jewelry in their mouths and all over their cars but do black women have to fall off the band wagon too just because we are messed up and on that good stuff.
I am gonna try and break down these Hot careers for Black women in my opinion.
Model... Professional HO. No matter how slim/skinny you are or have ethnic looks or long legs there is no standard for becoming a model.One season they might prefer the anorexic bitch and next season they want the ethnic look so why invest that much time into a career that will dispose of you like a diaper and lets be honest models dont just do cat walk for 10,000 a day because they have to do favors like sleep with the sponsors rich arab friend or his French race car driver and his posse or even his pet dog and lets be honest these guys got all the toys and drugs in the world and lets be honest there are probably around 10 Super models worldwide and nearly 100 million are trying out for that mess. (FYI Tyra Banks was never a Super Model ask Naomi, Christy,Linda and Cindy).
Promoter.... This is the lady who organizes events and passes out fliers or hangs around clubs with celebrities and takes pictures with them (Groupie) in order to get her rent or car not paid.By the way she also models part time but if you at least do it part time shouldnt you get paid a part time wage? Anything you do for a favor or for free is considered a hobby. FYI being a promoter in your 30's is kinda played out cos you aint gonna nab the Basketball player, Football player or the Hip Hop artist, the best you can do is take part in an Orgy with them and hope your videotape doesnt land on the internet.
Reality Show HO...Now you are the scum of the earth to think that you can audition for the next dozen reality shows on TV and get lucky and get your 15 minutes of fame. The odds of you getting on the show are worse than you graduating cum laude at an ivy school studying applied physics and even if you do make it on the show don't you know you are setting black folks another 100yrs back to the Black and white minstrel show era.They already think you are the angry black woman who is quick to raising her eyebrows and wriggling her neck in a rhythmical motion and ready to put her finger in someone's face (Now thats not the stereotype u want to live up to) . And for those of you who have ever sent an audition tape to the Flavor of Love show or have been unfortunate to get selected on the show all i can say is " Woe unto You" That is the worst form of buffoonery one can ever be subjected to . No amount of money should make anyone sell out there race to a show like that . We all know Flavors Brain was fried back in the early 90's and its a miracle the man is still living but GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR.
Peace two fingers.

Watch out for the Clinton Mafia

Its a new dawn in America with President Elect Obama at the podium and i am trying to be optimistic about his upcoming regime because unfortunately i am not like most African Americans who are more caught up in the historical breakthrough of an African American as President of the most powerful country in the world. It might have to do with the fact that i have African Parents and i come from a country that is ruled by only black people and i still see the baggage of colonialism that prevents them from moving on and instead many have become stooges for the same propaganda slave masters who strategically left the regime to puppets instead of visionaries. I am trying hard not to criticize the upcoming regime but i promised that i will wait 90 days into office before i start criticizing this regime and even though Obama has not even been sworn in yet but i already have mixed feelings about some of his selections already.

I am not too pleased at his selection of Rahm Emmanuel who many people regard as rude and a dick but all they can say about him is that he can get the job done. Now why does that remind me of Rumsfield and Cheney who most people didnt get along with but got their evil agendas carried out despite a lot of opposition. The selection of Rahm is certainly a Slap in the face for Middle East peace moves which have been going on for an eternity. Rahm is a Pro Israeli lobbyist who was also in the Israeli armed forces and actually escorted Obama to the last AIPAC meeting where all 3 Presidential candidates where kissing so much ass to this think tank that it was comical and i loved the skit Jon Stewart did about that where McCain, Hilary and Obama were pretty much begging for the Zionist's help.

All i can say is that based on his selection of Rahm i know that i am gonna be investing a lot of money on Oil options to go up in the next couple of years because i know the Arab leaders are taking note and since they have a monopoly on the World Oil they will let us feel it in our pockets. I know obama is promising renewable energy and thats if he gets the budget the Dubya already squandered away by going to war and not the Bailouts it will still take at least 20years before we can benefit from such a fairy tale plan but at least i will be laughing to the bank in some remote island if my prediction pays off.

Another bothering issue is the rumor that Obama is going to surround himself with the Clintons croonies. That doesnt bode well either. BTW Rahm is a former Clinton ally who Hilary tried to get fired because he was a dick but Bill saved his job by demoting him. Now i know a lot of people remember the Clinton Administration as a great one where we had a surplus for the first time in many decades but it was not totally a good regime but people have short term memories. The biggest thing that happened to the Clinton Administration was the Interne Boom which had nothing to do with them but it was bound to happen. Due to this a lot of jobs were created and lots of people became homeowners for the first time ever and actually lived the American dream and the Govt came up with some dubious strategies to let banks and mortgage companies give out risky loans which a lot of people took advantage of and by the beginning of 2000 there was an internet bubble and most of those gains were erased. Unemployment was at an All time high when Clinton was about to exit office. Clinton is the same person who refused to sign the Kyoto treaty while the whole world begged him to for a safer environment and reduce missile build up. Clinton is also the same person that passed the 3 strikes you are out law which helped lock a lot of black people but people dont remember that. Clinton's Administration is also the architect for making Crack Cocaine Possession more criminal than powder cocaine which is basically racially based and did i mention that a lot of people in the Clintons camp ended up missing and dead with no real explanation, Sounds like a Mafia to me.

I know Obama wants to be viewed as someone who is Bipartisan and inclusive but history has taught us that you dont get the job done that way. It's a good idea but it doesnt work. If you have an agenda and really believe in it just carry it out and dont wait on people who want to form committees and debate the issue for months and ending up doing nothing. Thats what the Bushes did and they were very successful even though it was in an evil way but remember"Mission Accomplished".

I am not a fan of Obama's strategy in inviting all these big wigs to Wall street to come up with a plan. We dont need a dream team to solve our economic problems so leave out the Warren Buffets and their croonies because they all have a personal agenda. Warren Buffet has been Adivisng Schwarzenegger since he has been the Governor of California and the Economoy still sucks so its not worth it. By hiring a bunch of successful business men and Economic geniuses is only going to slow things down because they will not agree to each others agenda and just stall the process.

90 Days then i will hold Obama to each and every promise he made or i will have to form my opinion about him which aint cool.

My Camera is Bigger than Yours

As i was planning my trip to Japan recently one of my major thoughts was about which camera i was taking with me on my trip. I was in Hawaii this spring and ended up playing on the beach with my friends and we got to throwing the frisbee at each other and before you know it i was on the edge of the beach with my khaki cargo shorts with multiple pockets in which lay my Sony Compact slim camera that i was very proud of for being compact and i could slide it in my back pocket and take pictures in cool placesl ike bars, concerts, house parties.

Well by the time i remembered my camera was in my shorts i was drenched in beach water and sand and now was just hoping the camera will now work. Unfortunately not. I let it dry for a couple of weeks but it never came back to life so i embarked upon my new camera search. There is a Nigerian Proverb that translates as " The palace of the king that got burnt is just adding more beauty to it" Basically it means that the remodelling will cost more and be an opportunity to build a bigger and nicer palace. Now that was the same thought that came to my mind and i was torn between an SLR or a Point and Shoot.

Over the years i have always marveled at the number of Japanese tourists i have seen all over the world with the mega cameras dangling from their necks while they snap away and in my mind i am thinking "Bloody Tourists" and for them it was the most fun while the purchased Digital Cameras that cost about the same price as a used car or a new hybrid car and just teased each other by showing off their latest gadget and demonstrating its skills. I know i dont want to waste that much money on an SLR because i am not a true photographer and i am not about to pick it as my hobby but i also knew that i didnt want to just pick any compact Point and shoot camera either after messing up the last one in Hawaii so i had a decision to make.

I surfed and surfed and comparism shopped for months before i finally found a Cannon SX100 which has 10Megapixels meaning it will be crispy enough for me to see all the details of the picture and also had a X 15 Optical zoom which means i can take close up pictures of someone who is several feet away and to top it all it had face deduction which means it can spot a face out in the crowd and get a sharp picture of it. I had to decide between a few other similar ones and price was definitely an issue. I was so glad i made that decision to purchase it here in the USA rather than in Tokyo because i noticed they had a few better cameras but not better prices and i am more of a bargain person that latest technology.

Now fast forward to Tokyo, I had to finally test my Camera in the world of "My Camera is bigger than yours" and it passed the test with flying colors. I told a couple to take a picture of me behind a landmark and as soon as i handed over my camera which is not an SLR but has a 3inch LCD and had some super duper retractable lens and to top it a pop up flash which was around 8 lbs total size meaning i could slide it in my back pocket on a good day. So back to the test. As soon as i handed him my camera i noticed the surprise in his eyes and when he took the pic he felt so proud of himself for taking the pic because what these cameras do is give you this pseudo feeling that you actually are skillful enough to be a professional photographer which is not true. Its just like the average kid playing Videogames nowadays who really isnt doing much but the computer makes you think you are an expert because of the graphics and moves in the game.
I overheard him tell his wife that it was a nice camera and the screen was big enough for a Camcorder so in short i passed the test of my Camera is bigger and better than your camera.

Another advantage of my camera was the zoom function which practically turned me into a daylight stalker because i could basically take pictures of people over 100 feet away without straining and use the zoom to bring them closer to me without them even realizing and i take their pic which is something i did a lot of during my trip but i am too smart to wake up one day and decide i want to be a professional Fashion photographer and start making business cards and taking pics of teenages barely clothed or over the hill ladies who just like to pose for the cameras in their ridiculous poses even though they are half a dozen dress sizes too big to be even fathoming a modelling career but unfortunately my camera has that magic that makes women think it can bring out the best in them. I wish i really gave a damn so much so i can publish some of the pics that i took but i really cant be bothered so you are just gonna have to take my word for it when i tell you that i took some great pics while in Tokyo.

Peace.