One thing i have noticed nowadays that is becoming more rampant and popular nowadays that i have noticed is young couples not staying together long enough and hence upgrading their current relationship and marrying someone younger, more educated and probably more adventurous while dumping their wives of 10+ years and starting a new life. I dont have a tag name for it yet but i am using the term upgrading for now.
I have a friend whose 21 year old brother proposed to his 19 year old girlfrend a couple of months ago and when she told me i became very furious and asked her what she was gonna do about it and she said nothing then i asked what her parents were gonna do about it and she said they couldnt do much even though they were against the idea and all i could do was shake my head and feel bad for them. I am sick and tired of looking at Families who are afraid to interfere or step in their offsprings lives out of fear the kid will say something or leave home. I refuse to dumbdown so my kids can get away with something like that.
I have seen too many young couples marry in their early 20's and start a family and by their 10 year anniversary they are ready to call it quits and start a newer family while breaking the core of their existing families . I seriously believe nowadays that most people should at least wait till they are at least 30 before they get married but some will laugh at the suggestion and get married and before you know it are planning a divorce a couple of years down the road.
Marriage is more complicated nowadays thanks to the media and what it sells as instant gratuity which makes it hard for people to commit into a long term relationship. Growing up Divorce was like a taboo and looked down upon so Couples put in an extra effort not to fall into that category but in this new day and age its not unusual for a couple of 30yrs to decide to call it quits simply because they think they can do better.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but now is the time for people to date people not so close in age to avoid competition and to also provide more security in the relationship and yes this is where maturity comes into place because when you are dating someone a lot younger you are sacrifing the fact that she might not be as intelligent, experienced and mature and it goes vice versa for the woman because the man might not be an adonis, might not be as fulfilling in bed and might not be so open minded to do lots of fun stuff that younger folks do but it will at least provide a security blanket and a respect mechanism in the house and then you can grow in the relationship.
For lots of couples that marry young and grow a family together and are now in their late 30s and kids are off to college its become practically impossible for them to remain together nowadays. I have heard way too many couples say that as soon as the kids are off to college i am out which is sad but i blame it on the closeness in age and society. We all know that women mature faster than men so when she marries a guy closer to her in age she is practically dumbing down quite a lot to make the relationship work and a lot of times is creating a negative environment at home where she is resented for being right or sometimes for even helping out. A Decade of this power tussle and external factors eventually break up many of these unions and we notice that the man now wants to date someone 10 plus years younger who looks up to him and the woman might want to find her younger adonis type individual she has craved for years.
All in all the marriage institution needs to be re examined because Marriage is not necessarily for everyone and even though it works most of the time it takes a lot of sacrifice and manipulation which society doesnt have patience for nowadays so folks need to really know what they want out of a relationship before jumping into it for selfish reasons like my Soror sister had a beautiful wedding and so do i or all my mates are getting married so i must find a sucker to settle down with or other trivial reasons for tying the knot.
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2 comments:
Hmmm furious on a situation that doesn't concern you. Marriage is more about attitude than age in my opinion. My grandparents hooked up from the age of 15 and the only thing that seperated them 9 children later was death. To each their own at the end of the day. Just because you hit 30 doesn't mean you have all of the answers, or even makes it right to jump in head on and get married. Some will be ready in their 20's others won't even be ready till their 40's.
i married at 19 and am still with my husband 23 years later. it was a serious challenge. it makes more sense to marry when the parties involved are more mature.
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